30-something

Last week I turned 30. I can say, whole-heartedly, that I was not looking forward to this particular birthday. I would no longer be the 20-something girl. I was now going to be the 30-something woman. For some reason, I felt like everything would start to sag and wrinkle and age immediately and I could no longer do some of the things I truly enjoy doing - watching south park, the simpsons, and family guy. Or buying ridiculously brightly colored eye shadow and were it with confidence, or anything like that. I was slightly terrified of turning into a boring adult.

During this first week of being 30, two things happened.

One, a wonderful friend (who is about to be 31, so very wise, and cool as hell) remarked about the dreaded age..."Whatever, being thirty is awesome. People actually take you serious now."

Second, we were invited to my sister-in-law's 21st birthday at some local hipster coffee shop. C asked if I wanted to go, and my reply "Heck no! There is no way, I wanna spend the evening with some stupid 20 year old kids..." Immediately following that I groaned and replied "Crap. I am thirty." and hung my head in shame.

I think I am ok with my new age. I spent a lot of my 20's looking for something, making mistakes, and eventually finding my niche. I learned a lot about myself and who I want to be. Now I feel comfortable with my life and where it is going.

Especially since it includes these people.

There's No Place Like Home

When I was 15, I came to Austin for Debate Camp and spent a wonderful two weeks here. I instantly fell in love. Never had I experienced such a place; so alive with creativity. I swore to myself that I would someday leave my small suburban hometown and move to this magical city.

12 years later I was finally able to move. On my own and free, I packed up my car with the few things I had and left the only home I had ever known.

That was three years ago, (June 3rd to be exact). It's incredible and amazing and little scary how one decision can effect your life so drastically. Because of my decision to move to Austin (basically, with nothing), I reconnected with the most amazing man I have ever met, and started a life with him. I got pregnant and had our wonderful daughter, who truly made my life whole and filled my heart with so much love. We bought our first house, and have settled into a great neighborhood. I have met some awesome and inspiring people, that have pushed me to find and use the creativity that I knew was buried deep inside.

If I knew how much everything would change by simply moving to a place I fell in love with so long ago, I would have done it a lot sooner. But I can say with the utmost sincerity, that I am the happiest I have ever been and it's all because I took a chance and followed my heart.

Craft-a-holic - Finger Puppets & Summer Skirts

Good day all you crafty addicts! I have found some new wonderful projects for your itchy fingers.

Felt Animal Friends -



I adore these tiny little animal finger puppets! OMG, I could just make a ton of them if I didn't have other things to do. I have already made the little lamb for M and have started the squirrel for a friend who is expecting. They are super easy to make (tho I don't suggest hand stitching. I did and it doesn't work well with the small seam allowance).



And yet, another thing to make for M. Basically, anything I want to make is usually for her, but I will make an effort to start looking for non-kid things. But I'm pretty sure the directions are easy enough to turn into an adult version!

Happy Crafting!

The Day that We Turned Off the Tv

I admit, I am a tv junkie. I love movies, and I have several favorite shows that I tivo and watch when M is sleeping. I also enjoy a warm cup of coffee and the morning news. As M has grown from a small unassuming baby into a wild and energetic toddler, she has payed more attention to tv than I thought was possible. As she grew and became more aware of her world, she noticed the tv and it's entrancing glow, so I made a compromise. If she was going to watch the images that were on the tv screen, I would make sure they were age appropriate. So she started watching Nickelodeon. Every time she zoned out watching Dora or Yo Gabba Gabba (which I love, for the record) I always felt a little guilty. Now I should state for the record that I NEVER let her watch tv all day long - EVER. But when she started asking to watch tv when it was off, I got anxious.

The other day, I was reading a post by another blogger about her children's lack of tv watching. Inspired, I decided to go a full day with no tv. At all. Really it wasn't that bad. M was entirely willing to be a child and entertain herself. Lordy that girl has an active spirit. She played outside almost all day, and when she was inside, she colored, read books (well sorta...she pretended to) and played with her toys. We even had some extra cuddle time, which for me was especially nice.

As I strive to practice Attachment Parenting techniques, it is always rewarding when M is more affectionate and more willing to listen to me rather than be a typical toddler and rebel. Today, she was an angel. And that is something special for a child her age. Instead of spending the day trying to get her to listen and behave, or seeing her with a glazed look on her face; I saw a child being a child and I couldn't have been happier. Despite the fact that my house looked like a war zone.

Now I'm not saying that our tv will stay off (I am watching Futurama now :D), but I know that M doesn't need it and I can survive the day with out it distracting her.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I love, love, love living in Texas. Never mind the stereotypical cowboys, rednecks, and crazy fringe conservatives, oh and Rick Perry. I just consider them annoyances to an otherwise, wonderful place to live. Especially Austin. This city is a world unto it's own. Great food, great music, and amazing scenery. It has some of the most beautiful natural landscapes I have ever seen. Aaaaaand we have Rodeos!!! Ok, I am pretty much apposed to Rodeo-type stuff (calf roping, bull riding, etc.), but there are carnival games, and the live stock shows - which is like a zoo, but for farm animals.

We took M yesterday, for the last day of the rodeo, so she could go see a cow up close. We may live in Texas, but we do live in the city; and despite the depictions of Texas being one big giant ranch, there are not cows on every corner. The big docile creatures actually scared her! Even the sheep and goats made her cling to me, and whimper! All week long, she was so excited to see cows and horses! She was running around the house yelling "MoooWah!!!" After a disastrous attempt with the animals, we enjoyed some super tasty barbecue (what ever i know it's soooo wrong to eat bbq after looking at cows!) and one of the best things to eat on a warm sprummer* day!


Snow Cones!!!

*note - Texas doesn't actually have a spring season, it usually goes from cold winter to a few weeks of rain, then hot sunny days - i.e. sprummer.

Panty Raid

I think potty training is one of the more disgusting facets of parenting. At least it has been in my experience. M is right in the middle of learning to use the potty and apparently can't decide whether she wants to use diapers, pull ups or panties. After a long day of yelling "pee pee momma!" and then pro ceding to rip the diaper off, I decided to go get her a pack of panties. My mommy heart got very sad in the store. As I was looking over the little girl panties, so cute and girly, I realized that this is another step in the direction of my baby growing up. Every time she does something that is toddler or child behavior, I have a mix of happy and sad emotions swirling around. I love watching her grow and explore the world and learn new things every day, but at the same time, I very much miss my tiny little girl that I could hold in my arms.

She was so proud of her new panties that she even showed C when he got home from work. I was sure that she would tell me next time she needed to go potty. Right before dinner, I checked and they were wet. I can't tell you how gross it is to have your hand wet from pee. After a small tantrum, we decided on panties again instead of a diaper - which Mommy mistakenly thought was the better choice.

As I got her ready for bed last night, I put on a diaper and tossed her panties (which she had peed in again) in the laundry basket, she squeaked "panny." She then stood up, wrapped her arms around my neck as tight as she could and gave me a kiss. Which makes me melt. Every time.

And this morning, just for fun and to make Mommy crazy; M decided that neither diapers OR panties would be appropriate for today. Instead, she has decided that being bar bottomed and POOPING ON THE FLOOR is a better approach. Ugh.

Year(s) of the Tantrum

So my sweet little girl is quickly creeping up on the dreaded "terrible two's." In less than 4 months she will be two years old and already the tantrum gauge is starting to peak. In my efforts to practice positive discipline, I have been trying to talk her down so to speak. Help her work through the outbursts and solve the root cause; instead of punishing her for bad behavior. 90% of the time it works. I can somehow manage to talk her through the problem and avoid meltdowns. Until last night...

-insert dramatic themed music here-

After a long, hot exhausting day with mommy and daddy flying kites, Miss M was beyond the sleepy point and broke down after a failed attempt to go potty. She screamed and cried and SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

Do you know how hard it is to stifle your gut reaction to curse/yell/scream when you have been slapped? Very. Very. Hard. Even though I choked down the anger welling up in my throat, she saw it in my face and immediately started wailing (even harder).

I don't ever want to lose it. I don't want to scream and yell at her. I don't want her to cry because I have lost my voice berating her because she "misbehaved".

I know how that feels.

I heart U

I love Valentine's day. Even when I was single, I reveled in thought of romance and joy and the sticky sweet love that this day inspires. Yes, there are those who would dare de-wing cupid by saying that it's a made up holiday, and maybe they are right. Maybe it's ok though. Maybe the world needs a little push to show the love now and then.

As for me, I have finally found the true meaning of love. It has taken me quite some time, bad relationships and personal growth to see what love really can be and should be. So Happy Love Day to my wonderful husband who has given me more than I thought I deserved and everything I need. You healed my heart and gave me a new life. For that, I can never love you enough. And to my beautiful daughter, who showed me that love can be total and completely encompassing. One day, I hope you know how much I love you.

A Conversation

As we were driving to dinner last night, M was in the back singing the ABC's in her sweet little baby babble. Wistfully, I said to C,

"I wish we could freeze her so she will stay cute forever."

"She will be...she's our little girl," he replied.

"No. She will grow up into a bratty know-it-all teenager. And that is not cute."

"Well, we will just have to give her sedatives."

I laughed so hard, my face hurt. Of course I would never, ever do that to my child. But it made me think of the inevitable fact that all teenagers are rebellious in some way. Even the good ones - and I was one of the good ones. Not until I had reached legal age, did I commit my acts of social rebellion.

I want to preserve the memory of my sweet little girl forever. Especially for those days when she is screaming at me because I wont let her go out with "Derek with a mustache and a mustang." That way, I can look at her and see my daughter who I love more than the air I breathe, not some bratty know-it-all teenager.

Paging Dr. Mom

It sucks being sick. It sucks even more when your child is sick. M is currently working through her third cold of the season and to top it off, she is going through a major teething ordeal. My poor baby is hurting and exhausted and covered in a gross combination of drool and snot. After three days of this, I am totally drained. I can't even find the reserve energy to work out or spend time with C. There is a reason I got a degree in graphic design and not my phd.

Into the Wild - Begining the Journey of Attachment Parenting

M is 18 months now and the tantrum level is steadily increasing. She is a very independent and strong willed toddler and has the attitude of "I do what I want, and I do it my way." I was having a conversation with my mother about it one day, and her suggestion was to put her in time out. My mouth practically hit the floor. How could I possibly explain to M why and what I was doing? She can barely understand simple commands, and certainly doesn't understand why I tell her no, just that I am not letting her do what she wants to do. It's hard to find the right way to handle the tantrums. I get frustrated after telling her not to climb on chairs 10 times and lose my cool. She, in turn, starts screaming and cursing at me in baby talk because I am limiting her need to explore and climb. So I am trying something different called Attachment Parenting, and will try to document our experiences.


Attachment Parenting is a parenting philosophy based on eight principles that will create a strong and stable bond between parent/s and child. The eight principles are:

- preparing for pregnancy and birth
- feed with love and respect
- respong with sensitivity
- use nurturing touch
- ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally
- provide consistent and loving care
- practice positive discipline
- strive for balance in personal and family life

www.attachmentparenting.org

2010: a space oddessy

It really is amazing how time is perceived. You never quite understand it when you are a kid, but then all of a sudden you realize "I'm a 29 yr old woman, with a husband, a child, and I'm a grown up!" And now time goes by waaay to fast. I watch my daughter every day and am amazed how quickly she is growing and changing and sooner than I care to think about, she will no longer be my little baby, but my little kid, then teenager, then adult herself. It's scary and sad and exciting all rolled into one. And there are so many things I want to do with her and teach her and show her. But in all honesty, I wont be able to because time, unfortunately, does not stand still or slow down.

I am trying be more organized - that is my new years "resolution" if you will. I guess it is my feeble attempt to control time and make to most of it. Is it even possible?

Young Picasso

I am an art dork. As long as I can remember, I have drawn, painted, sewn, crafted, anything I could get my hands on. I owe it all to my mom; she always encouraged me to be artsy and creative. We used to make paper dolls together and watched Bob Ross paint his "happy little trees" and I have some very fond memories, and (I think at least) a little bit of skill because of it. Now that I am a mom, I wanted to do the same for my daughter. Whatever she does, I want to encourage her. But since I am an art lover; I have been eagerly awaiting the day that M was old enough to grasp a crayon and make her first little scribbles...

I found these great little markers called Crayola Beginners and are made for toddlers and are shaped to fit in their hands. They are really great and super cute!

Washable (a must), non-toxic, and apparently tasty...