30-something

Last week I turned 30. I can say, whole-heartedly, that I was not looking forward to this particular birthday. I would no longer be the 20-something girl. I was now going to be the 30-something woman. For some reason, I felt like everything would start to sag and wrinkle and age immediately and I could no longer do some of the things I truly enjoy doing - watching south park, the simpsons, and family guy. Or buying ridiculously brightly colored eye shadow and were it with confidence, or anything like that. I was slightly terrified of turning into a boring adult.

During this first week of being 30, two things happened.

One, a wonderful friend (who is about to be 31, so very wise, and cool as hell) remarked about the dreaded age..."Whatever, being thirty is awesome. People actually take you serious now."

Second, we were invited to my sister-in-law's 21st birthday at some local hipster coffee shop. C asked if I wanted to go, and my reply "Heck no! There is no way, I wanna spend the evening with some stupid 20 year old kids..." Immediately following that I groaned and replied "Crap. I am thirty." and hung my head in shame.

I think I am ok with my new age. I spent a lot of my 20's looking for something, making mistakes, and eventually finding my niche. I learned a lot about myself and who I want to be. Now I feel comfortable with my life and where it is going.

Especially since it includes these people.

Birthdays and Crafty Love

July 1st, 2008 at 8:05 pm, I gave birth to an 8lb wrinkled crying little baby girl. Ever since then, being a mom has completely changed my life and I am a better person because of it. Yesterday, we celebrated M's 2nd birthday with the Austin family. It was a long, exhausting, wonderful day, and I am a little sad to see my baby quickly growing up. But being me, and having some fantastic inspiration from my Craft Academy classes, I made some really great things to make her party extra special!


One of the classes was a special 4th of July party pack that had some wonderful crafty ideas to throw a great summer party. One project in particular was Cupcake Ice Cream Cones. I can't think of anything better for a little girl's birthday!




I used a white cake recipe and gel food coloring to tint the batter bright rainbow colors. The rest...well, it's confidential. ;}

I decided to be sneaky and top the cupcake cones with actual ice cream, cause you can't have cake without ice cream! It also served as a great candle holder!



Another class was how to make a fabric banner. I customized mine with ribbon and some pretty cherry fabric.



It turned out so freakin' cute and was deffinately a hi-lite of the party.

I hope every year I can do something special for my baby. Because, well, how could i not want to make a wonderful birth day for this cutie?!?

There's No Place Like Home

When I was 15, I came to Austin for Debate Camp and spent a wonderful two weeks here. I instantly fell in love. Never had I experienced such a place; so alive with creativity. I swore to myself that I would someday leave my small suburban hometown and move to this magical city.

12 years later I was finally able to move. On my own and free, I packed up my car with the few things I had and left the only home I had ever known.

That was three years ago, (June 3rd to be exact). It's incredible and amazing and little scary how one decision can effect your life so drastically. Because of my decision to move to Austin (basically, with nothing), I reconnected with the most amazing man I have ever met, and started a life with him. I got pregnant and had our wonderful daughter, who truly made my life whole and filled my heart with so much love. We bought our first house, and have settled into a great neighborhood. I have met some awesome and inspiring people, that have pushed me to find and use the creativity that I knew was buried deep inside.

If I knew how much everything would change by simply moving to a place I fell in love with so long ago, I would have done it a lot sooner. But I can say with the utmost sincerity, that I am the happiest I have ever been and it's all because I took a chance and followed my heart.

Panty Raid

I think potty training is one of the more disgusting facets of parenting. At least it has been in my experience. M is right in the middle of learning to use the potty and apparently can't decide whether she wants to use diapers, pull ups or panties. After a long day of yelling "pee pee momma!" and then pro ceding to rip the diaper off, I decided to go get her a pack of panties. My mommy heart got very sad in the store. As I was looking over the little girl panties, so cute and girly, I realized that this is another step in the direction of my baby growing up. Every time she does something that is toddler or child behavior, I have a mix of happy and sad emotions swirling around. I love watching her grow and explore the world and learn new things every day, but at the same time, I very much miss my tiny little girl that I could hold in my arms.

She was so proud of her new panties that she even showed C when he got home from work. I was sure that she would tell me next time she needed to go potty. Right before dinner, I checked and they were wet. I can't tell you how gross it is to have your hand wet from pee. After a small tantrum, we decided on panties again instead of a diaper - which Mommy mistakenly thought was the better choice.

As I got her ready for bed last night, I put on a diaper and tossed her panties (which she had peed in again) in the laundry basket, she squeaked "panny." She then stood up, wrapped her arms around my neck as tight as she could and gave me a kiss. Which makes me melt. Every time.

And this morning, just for fun and to make Mommy crazy; M decided that neither diapers OR panties would be appropriate for today. Instead, she has decided that being bar bottomed and POOPING ON THE FLOOR is a better approach. Ugh.

I heart U

I love Valentine's day. Even when I was single, I reveled in thought of romance and joy and the sticky sweet love that this day inspires. Yes, there are those who would dare de-wing cupid by saying that it's a made up holiday, and maybe they are right. Maybe it's ok though. Maybe the world needs a little push to show the love now and then.

As for me, I have finally found the true meaning of love. It has taken me quite some time, bad relationships and personal growth to see what love really can be and should be. So Happy Love Day to my wonderful husband who has given me more than I thought I deserved and everything I need. You healed my heart and gave me a new life. For that, I can never love you enough. And to my beautiful daughter, who showed me that love can be total and completely encompassing. One day, I hope you know how much I love you.

A Conversation

As we were driving to dinner last night, M was in the back singing the ABC's in her sweet little baby babble. Wistfully, I said to C,

"I wish we could freeze her so she will stay cute forever."

"She will be...she's our little girl," he replied.

"No. She will grow up into a bratty know-it-all teenager. And that is not cute."

"Well, we will just have to give her sedatives."

I laughed so hard, my face hurt. Of course I would never, ever do that to my child. But it made me think of the inevitable fact that all teenagers are rebellious in some way. Even the good ones - and I was one of the good ones. Not until I had reached legal age, did I commit my acts of social rebellion.

I want to preserve the memory of my sweet little girl forever. Especially for those days when she is screaming at me because I wont let her go out with "Derek with a mustache and a mustang." That way, I can look at her and see my daughter who I love more than the air I breathe, not some bratty know-it-all teenager.

Paging Dr. Mom

It sucks being sick. It sucks even more when your child is sick. M is currently working through her third cold of the season and to top it off, she is going through a major teething ordeal. My poor baby is hurting and exhausted and covered in a gross combination of drool and snot. After three days of this, I am totally drained. I can't even find the reserve energy to work out or spend time with C. There is a reason I got a degree in graphic design and not my phd.

Into the Wild - Begining the Journey of Attachment Parenting

M is 18 months now and the tantrum level is steadily increasing. She is a very independent and strong willed toddler and has the attitude of "I do what I want, and I do it my way." I was having a conversation with my mother about it one day, and her suggestion was to put her in time out. My mouth practically hit the floor. How could I possibly explain to M why and what I was doing? She can barely understand simple commands, and certainly doesn't understand why I tell her no, just that I am not letting her do what she wants to do. It's hard to find the right way to handle the tantrums. I get frustrated after telling her not to climb on chairs 10 times and lose my cool. She, in turn, starts screaming and cursing at me in baby talk because I am limiting her need to explore and climb. So I am trying something different called Attachment Parenting, and will try to document our experiences.


Attachment Parenting is a parenting philosophy based on eight principles that will create a strong and stable bond between parent/s and child. The eight principles are:

- preparing for pregnancy and birth
- feed with love and respect
- respong with sensitivity
- use nurturing touch
- ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally
- provide consistent and loving care
- practice positive discipline
- strive for balance in personal and family life

www.attachmentparenting.org

2010: a space oddessy

It really is amazing how time is perceived. You never quite understand it when you are a kid, but then all of a sudden you realize "I'm a 29 yr old woman, with a husband, a child, and I'm a grown up!" And now time goes by waaay to fast. I watch my daughter every day and am amazed how quickly she is growing and changing and sooner than I care to think about, she will no longer be my little baby, but my little kid, then teenager, then adult herself. It's scary and sad and exciting all rolled into one. And there are so many things I want to do with her and teach her and show her. But in all honesty, I wont be able to because time, unfortunately, does not stand still or slow down.

I am trying be more organized - that is my new years "resolution" if you will. I guess it is my feeble attempt to control time and make to most of it. Is it even possible?